(In which I
lie lay down aside my instinct and laud praise something quite very much beyond my help.)
As a compulsive editor, I am constantly reanalyzing pieces I have written or things I have said. (I just rewrote that very sentence five times before moving on. Sigh.) But occasionally I say or write something that I still agree with the next morning. And every once in a great while, I believe in it even more strongly as time goes on. This is one of those rare instances.
A couple months ago, a new acquaintance found out I'm a "preacher's kid". He immediately inquired whether I felt obligated to enter the ministry for myself. My written reply:
No, I don't think I ever felt obligated to go into ministry. It was a very natural progression and Lord-willing I'll spend the rest of my life in some sort of ministry role. It's all grace, though, that any of us is useful in any way to the King, isn't it?
Soon I'll be transitioning from serving as a tentmaking missionary to a full-time missionary. In one sense, it's a big step: resigning from a career that I love, likely leaving Utah temporarily to raise more support, participating in additional training, taking on more responsibility for KEY Radio and possibly Provo Bible Church. And then there are the increased spiritual battles... I expect these demons of doubt will invite their friends and relations for a party or two in Karisa's head.
Then again—in light of what I wrote (and still believe!)—this is no change at all. It's still grace. No more, no less than before. And I still marvel at the thought that the King finds me (me! for goodness' sake) useful in any way.
Tomorrow I will re-read this post and wish I had better punctuated a sentence or chosen a crisper adjective. But I will not think differently about the substance. So faultless, so generous, so strong, so trustworthy is God's grace that I cannot improve upon it one iota.